A while ago I asked for book recommendations on twitter. Anyone who knows me well runs away screaming whenever I do this. It’s because I’m a picky reader. I discard or criticize most recommendations I get. Although I know better than to harass/follow up with people that *I* don’t know well. I also generally ask the person I don’t mind annoying to vouch for the book saying it is one of the best they’ll have read all year. (This is why Cee now ignores me when I ask about books.)
As you see, I don’t normally ask at large. But I did that time – and I added the caveat that “I did not want erotic romance that was “OMGWTFBBQ (eg m/m/m/f/m/f/cow/m/parrotshifter/m/f/m)” which set off a whole conversation. And my twisted little mind came up with a dare. For any brave authors.
And four wonderful, gamine, lovely, and fabulous authors endowed with a healthy sense of humor took up the challenge. Laura Hunsaker was first. The dare was to write a story about a parrot shifter. And she did.
Boy, did she.
I give you… Parrot Shifter the First. (My “title.”)
I watched him don a pair of aviator shades, even though it was nearly pitch black in the club. I was able to dismiss the ridiculous sunglasses at night routine though, because he bobbed his way over to me. Over six feet of manly sex god stood staring at me. I wished I could see his eyes, but those damn glasses only showed me my reflection.
He cocked his head in a birdlike fashion, and his deep voice sizzled over my skin as he asked me, “Can I buy you a drink?”
I looked him up and down, from his motorcycle boots to his sunglasses. Before answering I darted my tongue along my top lip. “Limecello, please.”
The bartender had been watching us unabashedly, so my mystery man had only to nod his head for my drink to appear.
He leaned against the bar and stared at me like a hawk.
“So, Limecello, what’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?”
“Polly?” he parroted.
I leaned in closer, letting my lips brush his ear, “My name. It’s Polly.”
Cocking his head once more, he let his lips brush my own as he whispered his name. “I’m Jack.” His warm breath made my no-no places tingle. I wanted him, and I wanted him bad. About to ask him if he’d take me home, we were interrupted.
The call came from behind us, we both turned to see 3 men, who all had that same sort of bobbing walk Jack had, coming towards us. No, walking was too tame a word. . .they.. . strutted.
“Jack, we need you.”
One of the guys cocked his head at me, once more reminding me of a bird. He tilted his head, and looked down his beak-like nose. “Who’s the babe?”
Jack squawked, “Leave her out of this.”
Hands raised, his buddy backed away, but not before giving me a good, long stare. I stared right back at him. There was no way his buddies were gonna cock-block me tonight. I pressed myself up close to Jack, glaring at the guys.
“Excuse me a moment, would you, Polly? I’ll be right back.” And he left me! The jerk. All I could think was that there was no way he was leaving me alone. I followed after the guys.
Strangely they went out a back door into an alley. What I saw next would turn my life upside down. There were 4 man-sized parrots kicking the crap out of a wolf. But just for a second, the wolf rallied and raked his claws over a parrot. When I saw feathers flying and blood gushing from a lime green wing I screamed. The eyes that met mine across the way weren’t human, but for some reason I knew they were Jack’s. Jack was a—a man-parrot or something!
He transformed into a human and bobbed his way over to me. “Polly, I didn’t want you to find out like this.”
“What are you?” I pressed my back against the door, fumbling for the doorknob.
“Please, don’t be afraid. I’m just like you, except I can turn feathery under a full moon.”
“So, what, you’re a were-parrot?”
“We prefer the term Parrot Shifter.”
“And you, beat up wolves in your spare time? I thought you were special! You’re just a thug who kicks dogs!”
He made an irritated noise, a cross between a squawk and a chirp. “He’s a rabid werewolf, and he was attacking a human woman. We are a brotherhood of Parrot shifters sworn to protect humanity.”
Oh, my heart melted a bit. He was like a superhero, or something. *le sigh*
“So the big question is, do you think you can accept me as I am? Feathers and all?”
Was I too shallow to take him as he was? I mean, I’m no peach if I haven’t had coffee, in fact I’d say I’m more of a monster than he was.
“Oh Jack, of course I can.”
Gripping my buttocks he pulled me into his body, pressing his hips against me. “Then I guess there’s just one more thing to say.”
“What’s that?” I breathed against his lips.
“Polly want a cracker?”
So what’d you think?